As a gay man, I’m a total disaster
There are so many rules that I’m yet to master
From concealing my feelings, to working out
Building up my bubble butt and perfecting my pout
I never ever swallow, I always spit
And I’m not into fisting, or any of that kinky leather shit
But where I really fall down is in my taste in song
You see, my musical preferences are totally wrong
Lady Gaga and her poker face leave me cold
I can’t stand The Smiths if the truth be told
I find Kylie satanic and I can’t deny
That Jake Shears and the Scissor Sisters make me want to die
The Pet Shop Boys are a pair of techno twunts
I loathe grandma Cher and her auto-tuned grunts
Madonna is a meaningless, withered old witch
Barbra Streisand? Back to Vegas with the overblown bitch!
Judy! Judy! Judy! passed over right on time
I’m only sad that Liza didn’t follow right behind
But worst of all – and where I feel I’ve really failed
Is that I'd love to see Kate Bush publicly flailed
Copyright Marcus Reeves © 2010
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